I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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