Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
