I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
