i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
