sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
