Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
