I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I think my moral compass just broke
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
