she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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