"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
