The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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