Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
