If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
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The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
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You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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