i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
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Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
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she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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