yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
