Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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