I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
