Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
