I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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