Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
