it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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