jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
