So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
did i just pee glitter
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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