We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
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he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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