girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
