its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
