I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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