she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
