Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
