i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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