You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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