You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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