I seem to have left my pride at pride
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
