mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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