Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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