How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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