Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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