I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
