i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I'm really busy with my period
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