So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
