Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
