So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
