Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table