You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Farmville is her only friend.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize