I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.