you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
