Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
