just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
