I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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