Your mouth is God's brothel.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish I only lived at night.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
