guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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