How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
