i just wanna soil my oats bro
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
