i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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