my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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