I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize