his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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