i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
