dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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