I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
