I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
