Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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